Why is it so hard for women to catch the big “O”? A study found that men experience orgasms at an 85-percentile rate.  As for the ladies the researcher divided homosexual and heterosexual women. Heterosexual women are coming in at a rate of 62% . While homosexual women are orgasming at an increasingly higher rate of 75%. I could sit here and make excuses. I could say as women we know what we like or what feels good to us, so pleasing another woman should be easy right? Or I could say that we are natural nurturers. So in heterosexual relationships we want to make sure that our man is “taken care of”. So as long as he gets “off”; we are ok with not having an orgasm. But what if the tables were turned? Do you think your man would be satisfied with not ejaculating? He would probably start looking else where to finish off the job. I.E cheating. So why do we settle? Why are we okay with our stats being that low when it comes to having orgasms?  It’s not ok. It’s a problem. 

I’ve always been so curious about sex and how it’s so different in everybody. How some girls love sex and can cum with ease. And others are in their 30’s and have yet to experience an orgasm with a partner. But I say all this to say I’ve done A LOT of research when it comes to sex. What’s stopping some from “cumming” with ease is so simple. It all boils down to one thing. COMMUNICATION! Sex starts in the brain. Do you know you can literally make yourself cum without even simulating yourself? That’s how powerful the freaking brain is!!!! Scary huh? 

I took a poll to my Instagram story and asked my ladies the very question at hand “Can sex be great without an orgasm? Or does an orgasm solidify that sex is great?” The results came in at 60% saying “an orgasm solidifies great sex” & 40% saying “it doesn’t matter sex can still be great without an orgasm”. I was actually shocked at how close the results were 40% of people are ok with not having an orgasm with sex? I had to reach out to some of the “it doesn’t matter” sayer’s to get their reasoning behind this. 

One girl said and I quote “Sometimes I just want a quickie with simulation I may still cum but to me an orgasm is an out of body experience my body goes numb etc. That doesn’t happen every time I’m intimate with my other half and I’m ok with that!” 

Another lady stated, “Sometimes you don’t feel/ care to have an orgasm, that constant feel good and physical connection with my partner is enough”. 

One woman said, “The stimulation leading up to sex is what excites me.” 

Hmm…all interesting thought processes. But what if I said you could cum every single time or at least at a higher rate doing one thing. You wouldn’t be down? Of course you would. 

Sex doesn’t have some bible that we have to abide by. That’s why exploring is key to finding what YOUR body loves. It’s also big facts to note that experimenting and achieving orgasm doesn’t require a partner. Yes! You heard me. You can do it alone sis. Pleasure is not dependent, and neither are you. Play a little bit. Buy some toys. Use your fingers. Get to know your body. Find that rhythm that brings you euphoria. The faster you learn your body, the faster you can teach your parter. The goal is to orgasm people. And possibly have an unanimous orgasm. Or at least just cum before your man does. LOL. 

Bodies are different. Orgasms are not all the same. Whether it be a huge climax that knocks the breath out of you, a small “O” (that you could even possibly miss that you had) or  just a constant euphoric state. It all starts with trial and error. Finding out what you like and what you don’t like. Communication is key. If you aren’t feeling something tell him, please. Don’t just lay there and not say a damn thing. I know you have all heard the saying “A closed mouth does not get fed” well I have a little saying of my own when it comes to trying to catch an orgasm “A closed mouth won’t catch the big O” So open up sis, communicate! Get that big O! Happy sex lives people! But remember no sex before marriage, I’m just preparing y’all 😉 hehe.