...Is it really worth it?
I know we have all heard about the 90 day no sex rule. And If you haven’t, keep reading. I got you. From Steve Harvey solidifying it in his book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” Supposedly this rule is supposed to let you know if a guy is serious enough about you; that he’s willing to wait 90 days before y’all have intercourse. Now, you know Nurse Lew does not condone premarital sex. I think no sex before marriage is a great idea! Leaving sex out of the picture, let’s you dig in a little deeper as to who exactly this person is that you are trying to pursue. Sex complicates things if you ask me. But it happens. We are sexual beings and we have needs. Ok, so let me stay on topic. Does this “90-day rule” really work?
What is the end goal of this “90-day rule”? What does this “90-day rule” entail? Let me break a few things down for y’all. The “90-day rule” is in regards to two people who are trying to pursue a serious relationship, they make a promise to each other to not have sex for 90 days. During these 90 days you and your partner are supposed to be getting to know each other on a deeper level without sex being in the picture. Are temptations going to be there? Of course. But you have to fight through them. How much do you really like this person that you are willing to put your desires to the side to really get to know them without the foggy cloud of sex interrupting your judgement.
If you plan on not holding out until marriage, I think the 90-day rule is a great idea. That’s three months without having sex with your partner. That’s a decent amount of time to get to know somebody and determine if you even really like them or not. Jumping into sex at the beginning of a relationship can seriously jeopardize things. You don’t want sex to be the center of the relationship. You need to have a solid foundation for any relationship to last. And its way easier to build a foundation with no sex than it is to build a foundation and y’all have already started having intercourse so early on. But don’t get me wrong there are plenty of relationships that have lasted long term and they had sex on the first night or before 90 days. It’s just a proven fact that if a guy is willing to wait 90 days to have intercourse with you, that he just might be interested in getting to know you. And that’s a huge sign for a lastly relationship.
Let’s talk about ways to survive the “90-day rule”.
Rule #1 No sleepovers. Temptation is real. Lying in bed next to your partner, cuddling. That’s setting yourself up for failure. Let him take you out on a date, and then y’all go your separate ways afterwards. He’ll actually respect you so much more if you send him home. Lol
Rule #2 Hang out during the daytime. Or at least do not stay out with your partner past midnight. Go home. Desires are heightened at nighttime. You’re welcome. Lol
Rule #3 Masturbate. We are sexual beings. No sex for 3 months? Masturbate! You do not have to torture yourself. Lol some people don’t like to masturbate but if you are trying to hold out for three months, I think you’ll figure out a way to “like” it.
Rule #4 Communicate. Communication is key. I honestly feel like I say this in all my blogs. But it’s so true communication is the key to life if you ask me. Lol. It’s okay to communicate to your partner that you are attracted to them. It’s okay to let your partner know that you are having that desire to have sex with them. It’s good to know that you are wanted even when you know y’all aren’t going to be having sex anytime soon. As humans we want to feel wanted, that’s normal. So, communicate your feels to your partner. And get to know each other. Talk about things you both like to do. Do things you both like to do. Talk about things you both don’t like. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
With all this being said, Nurse Lew is just here to educate. At the end of the day you are going to do what you want to do. But the 90-day rule is a great start to a lastly relationship. Not saying that it works every single time. But the odds are in your favor if you do decide to go this route. Now I’m going to say this one more time. Nurse Lew does not condone premarital sex. I’m here to educate and talk to my married folks. And of course educate those unmarried folks as well. So, when y’all do get married it’s going to go down in that bedroom. Lol I love y’all. Wishing happy healthy sex lives to you all.