Becoming Sex Positive

Becoming sex positive in a world full of culture shame. Culture shame? What exactly is culture shame? Let me explain. A culture in which conformity of behavior is maintained through the individual’s fear of being shamed.  Our culture is quick to shame and slow to praise. But why is this? Why can’t we just uplift each other and go about our day? Why must we shame? Why must we “cancel” people? When we don’t even know the half of what is going on.


First let’s define sex positive because a lot of folks do not know what that means. The term “sex positive” is used to describe an attitude towards sex that’s well, positive, and judgment-free. Different from what you might think, being sex positive doesn’t necessarily mean you’re kinky as hell (although you can be), but is more of a canopy term used to describe an open attitude when it comes to all things sexual. “Sex positivity views sex as one of the best things in life and doesn’t demonize it in any way or attempt to make anyone feel guilty for their urges and desires,” explains Alex Miller, sexologist. A sex-positive person doesn’t judge others for their sexual desires or fetishes, and instead keeps an open mind.


Let’s talk about sex. Sex can be very private, and some women may wary away from spilling details to their friends, while others openly talk about female masturbation over brunch (ME!) LOL. But just because some women choose not to share what goes down in their sheets does not mean that they are not sex positive, and being sex positive does not mean you are having orgies left and right. Did y’all read that? Let me say that again. Sex positivity does NOT mean you are having orgies left and right! Sex positivity is something to be celebrated!


We all know there is a lot of stigma surrounding sex. Students growing up are not receiving the inclusive, comprehensive in school sex-ed they need and deserve. Parents are hesitant to educate their kids about sex. Sex should not be such a difficult topic to converse. Who started this stigma and why? It drives me up the wallllll! Lol. I want to scream at the top of my lungs! “TALK ABOUT SEX ITS OK!” Do you know how you got here? Ok great. Let’s grow up and talk about it. Have an open mind when it comes to sex. Talk about sex with your partner, inform them of things you like in the bedroom and things you don’t like. Or in the act of things if you aren’t liking something tell them to switch things up or say something like “Baby I really like it when you do this or when you do that”. Sex positivity needs to be a well-known term. People need to embrace the word sex. It’s okay people. We are sexual beings, relax. Educate your children. Educate yourself. Do research. Have an open mind. Just because somebody else is open about their sex life and you are secretive about yours doesn’t mean you have to judge them. We are all different. Have an open mind and educate, educate, educate! And I’ll conclude this blog by saying Nurse Lew does not condone premarital sex, I’m here to educate. Wishing happy healthy sex lives to you all! 

SEXology talk
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