From the outside looking in (because ya girl isn’t married) it appears that sex and marriage seem to tussle to go together. It’s like you are either having sex all the time, or sex is something that’s hard to come by in your marriage. Whether you are scheduling sex when the kids are asleep or away at grandma’s house; sex is still an important part of a marriage. We are sexual beings people! So how can you keep that sense of urgency to have sex like you used to have before y’all were married? Keep reading, I have a few pointers. Sex requires energy, sometimes… I mean as a woman you could just lay there and not burn any calories and make him work for it but how selfish is that. So that’s where scheduled sex vs spontaneous sex comes into play.


Let’s start off by talking about scheduled sex. Schedule sex is scheduling a day or a couple days out of the week to have sex. So, if you plan on having sex once a week, let’s say y’all choose Wednesdays to have sex. Then that’ll be the day y’all have intercourse and the rest of the week you are free to do whatever without the pressure of having to have sex with your partner in the back of your mind. I lowkey kind of see how people would go this route. I have come across so many married couples that complain about being too tired to have sex. Or women that have completely lost their sex drive after their first child. I have a friend that has sex with her husband once a week. Some could argue that this is terrible. She says that’s all she can give him. She’s too tired; from working, cooking and cleaning to taking care of the kids. Sex is the last thing on her mind. As she’s telling me this my thought process is why doesn’t your husband help you with some of these chores so that you can have energy to have sex with him. Men help your ladies out! If y’all are doing scheduled sex take over some of the chores on your scheduled day to have sex and end the night with a foot rub for your lady and see where things go after that. I guarantee y’all will be having sex by the end of the night. 😉


There is definitely a different type of excitement that comes with spontaneous sex opposed to scheduled sex. Normally people who are having spontaneous sex are the ones with higher sex drives. Spontaneous sex is blind-sided sex. Ex. You are cleaning the kitchen and your man comes from behind kissing your neck and then things get hot and spicy and then… well you know lol. Mentally it’s the best for sex in my opinion because its off guard and you are in the moment vs scheduled sex you are thinking about it all-day and probably dreading it. Like who’s to say on that specific day you’ll be ready to have sex. What if you aren’t feeling it that day either? Do y’all still have pitty sex? Pitty sex is the worst ever, and ladies you definitely will not get your big “O” this way. And no wonder you don’t want it. You probably haven’t had an orgasm in years! Sex is a thousand percent mental. Your brain is the biggest sex organ. You have to go into sex thinking positive to get a positive outcome.


As I’m rereading my article, I’m realizing I’m placing the women in the category of low sex drive and not wanting to have sex all the time. When in actuality it could be your husband that’s too tired from work and not having as high of a sex drive as he used to before you guys were married. And if this happens to be your reality. Help your husband out. Work probably is stressing him out and that alone can lower your sex drive. Have dinner ready for him when he gets home. Give him a back massage, help relax your man. And I bet you a thousand percent he’ll be ready for some action. 😉

 And I’ll conclude this article with foods that help increase your sex drive. Try eating foods like blueberries, bananas, spinach, avocado, fatty fish and chocolate. Oysters and pesto are a great aphrodisiac due to the high content of zinc in these foods. Make google your best friend boo, it’ll tell you tons of foods that will increase your libido. Well that’s all I got for you folks. Remember no sex before marriage, love y’all 🙂

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