Trust is defined as: to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of; to place confidence in; to hope or expect confidently; to commit or place in one’s care or keeping. When you look at the definition of trust do you honestly believe that you trust your partner? Can men and women just be friends? It’s a situation recent research shows most people view with suspicion. But these relationships don’t generally pose problems unless one or both parties in the friendship are in an exclusive intimate relationship with someone else. Research supports that if not handled properly, there is a strong potential for the opposite sex friendship to become a threat to the intimate relationship.

Respect is defined as: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements; due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. Your partner should never feel disrespected. And if they do feel disrespected, they should be able to talk to you about it and the receiving partner should have an open mind to understand where they are coming from. Say to yourself “If my partner were doing this how would I feel?”.   And if you can’t immediately answer or you have to justify the situation for your own benefit then just stop. A relationship is not a one-way street, believe it or not it’s actually a two-way street. Trust and respect are two huge aspects you need for a relationship to flourish.

Insecure: not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious; not firmly fixed; liable to give way or break. Insecure is a word people love to throw around when talking about having BFF’s of the opposite sex when their intimate partner is not too fond of the friendship. But insecure is defined as “uncertain and anxious”. Why doesn’t your intimate partner feel secure? Why are they feeling uncertain and anxious? I’m a firm believer in energy and a woman’s intuition ain’t nothing to play about. Your partner should always feel secure in the relationship.

There are boundaries that should never be crossed in a relationship. Do not position yourself for your name to be called on. You and your “BFF” should never have a past sexual relationship. If there has been a past sexual relationship that has since stopped, it’s not appropriate to keep this relationship going as you are trying to take on a new relationship with somebody else. Now I’m not an expert or anything like that this is just Nurse Lew’s advice to you. It gets complicated, it’s difficult. And bringing all that baggage into another relationship it’s just going to be hard for the new relationship to flourish. Temptation is real. Don’t place yourself in that situation. What’s to say you and your new partner get into an argument and you go to your “BFF” to vent. You are vulnerable and then boom y’all have sex. It’s a no for me dawg. Does this so-called BFF have your best intentions? Are they always talking down on your relationship? Is this even really your “BFF”, or somebody just being nosy and wanting to know what’s going on in your life? Honestly your partner should be your best friend at the end of the day. Don’t let a past friendship ruin a beautiful future, this could be your wife or husband in front of you.