Having a high sex drive can be a blessing or a curse. I’ll say it’s a blessing if the drive is reciprocated and on the back end it’s a curse if you partner’s drive is not so high. But this does not mean that you have to sit back and just deal with it. This is exactly how cheating happens. Please refer to my previous blogs on why men and women cheat. Back on task, you are both equally responsible for how you handle this concern.
Following these 5 tips to approach your partner in ways that won’t make the situation so awkward.
- It’s not your fault. Don’t take it personally.
Differences in sexual desires within couples are very common. Although it is hard to not take it personal after repetitive rejection from your partner, you need to remind yourself that your partners lack of interest in sex may not be about you. Stress can reduce sex drive drastically. Is your man in med school? Is he so determined to be great that sex is the last thing on his mind? Did your wife just give birth? Is she busy taking care of the kids all day? There so many different proceeding things that can be the issue as to why your partner is lacking interest in sex. Try to be understanding. Communication is key people! Voice your concerns with your partner. Hopefully you guys can come to a mutual understanding. Scheduled sex? Refer to my previous blog on scheduled sex vs spontaneous sex. Believe it or not scheduled sex has saved a lot of marriages.
- Pay attention to your friendship. For many women it’s hard to get turned on unless they feel close to you. This means doing the things that are important to her. Do you know her love language? Execute those love languages that pertain to your partner. Show your partner you care. Do the little things.
- If your sex drives are so dissimilar, it’s unreasonable to expect your partner to take care of each and every sexual desire. You need to take responsibility for satisfying your own needs from time to time. I.E Masturbation.
- Respect you partner’s sexual prerequisites. When a partner with a low sex drive tells his or her spouse about the conditions that need to be in place in order to be engaged in sex, the higher sex driver spouse needs to understand and accept the requests. For most men testosterone peaks between 7A – 8A, women’s testosterone levels peak in the evening. If a quickie before work is what works best, make it happen.
- Last but certainly not least, if nothing else works, be brutally honest. Sometimes you have to break things down in layman terms. Ex. “Baby this is not working. I am not sexually satisfied in this relationship and I do not want to cheat on you”. BOOM! You’ll grab your partners full attention and y’all can sit down and talk about how to correct this mishap for the sake of the relationship.
When both of you make more of an effort to understand each other’s needs and feelings, you will feel more connected emotionally and physically. Wishing you all a happy healthy relationship. This too shall pass. LOVE Y’ALL!
